Example for Grade 7: Narrative – Mount Everest - ID: 955

for this response.

Mount Everest

  • Purpose: Narrative
  • Grade: 7
  • ID No. 955

Student Response

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As Sarah N  approached the bottom of Mount Everest, the biggest summit in the world, she saw a dark skined, dark haired man standing near an older woman and a young man. Sarah knew that the man was Krishnash Sabadi, a twenty-four year old Indian man. Sarah planned to climb the seven-week trek with him. She met him through a social media page for mountain climbers. The two had been chatting for the last two years. Sarah and Krish, as he nicknamed himself, had an instant spark and knew they would be perfect to climb the mountain together.

Sarah approached Krish.

“This it is it brother,” said the young man with Krish.

The woman cut in, “Silence! This is not it. We shall see at the bottom of this mountain when you complete the climb.” Tears began to roll down the womans cheeks.

Sarah walked up and said, “You must be Krish. I am Sarah N  , from Colorado.”

Krish’s mother, the old woman, said, “You are the American Krish has told me about. Take good care of him. I must go now. I cannot stand to cry any longer.” She kissed Krish and walked away.

Krish and his brother shook hands, and his brother followed the mother. Krish and Sarah made introductions, yet Krish kept his very breif and signaled to begin the trek. Sarah and Krish began to walk up the slope.

Sarah wore heavy fleece layers and a thirty pound backpack, and Krish wore nearly the same thing. The two climbed the mountain until night fell. Krish did not say a single word the whole day. Sarah wondered why, until she remembered Krish messaging her that he was a shy man. She knew he would break out of his shell sometime, or it would be a long seven weeks.

The next morning, the two began again. Sarah asked Krish how he slept. He just shrugged his shoulders and kept climbing. The day carried on, with out Krish saying a word. The most he did was nod his head when Sarah asked him to straighten out her harness. The next few weeks carried on nearly the same way; Krish only speaking when it was really needed.

Although Krish rarely spoke, once he did tell Sarah how he had became interested in climbing Mount Everest. He read a book about Edmund Hillary and Tenzig Norway, the first men to reach the summit of Mount Everest in 1953. Sarah told Krish that she also knows about them and admires that they used their fame to help others. Krish agreed.

Weeks passed, as the two ate chocolate, cookies, and boil-in-bag meals. Though it was cold, the two were surviving. Sarah and Krish had been climbing for while, when they saw what they had been striving to see. They saw the peak of the mountain. There is only one obstacle left until they reach their life goal. The Hillary Step.

As the two approached Hillary Step, Krish was slightly ahead of Sarah. Sarah decided to take a quick break before she took on Hillary Step. Krish carried on. Sarah watched Krish as he reached Hillary. He stopped. He bent down and felt something. He turned and sprinted to Sarah.

“A body! A body!” panted Krish.

Sarah said, “Slow down. Remain calm. What happenned?”

“There is a frozen body at the bottom of Hillary, but he is alive. I see him struggling to move. I know I do not say much, but this I need to say. We must help him,” said Krish.

Sarah and Krish ran to the bottom of The Hillary Step. As Sarah came closer to the body, she saw a Chinese man, frozen on the ground. Krish was right, for the man was alive. Sarah immediately knelt down next to him. She and Krish used their ice axes to chip off the heavy ice on the man. Once the ice was some what cleared, they covered the man in a sleeping bag and extra fleece layers. The man began to come with it.

“We have you under control. You will be fine. Relax. We will set up our camp here and sleep here for the night. In the morning, you will reach the top with us,” Krish said.

The man did not reply, for he was still in shock and was very cold. Sarah, Krish, and the man stayed the night at the bottom of The Hillary Step.

When morning came, the Chinese man was much more alert. He introduced himself as Chai Bei, a Chinese man who lives in America. Sarah was relieved to see that he spoke some English. The three had breakfast to wake them up, then they set off to take Hillary Step.

Sarah was the to  first try Hillary Step, a half rock, half snow, sixty-degree slope. Sarah chose a one of the five ropes on the slope and clinged he crampons to the slope. She held her ice axe and flung he body up the slope. She used her upper body strength to pull her up the slope. She made it!

Next was Chai. He tried to do the same as Sarah, but he did not succeed. He tried again, but failed. He was not nearly strong enough after his accident. He told Krish to go without him. Krish refused and said, “You will come with me. I’ve been training for three years. I have strength.”

Krish grabbed onto Chai and pulled him up the slope, as both men clasped their crampons into the slope. Together, the men made it up the slope. Sarah awaited them. The three climbed to remaining of the mountain and finally reached the highest point in the world.

Sarah looked in the distance and thought about her trek with Krish so far. She knew she had met a life-long friend. He may be quiet, but he speaks up when someone needs help. Tears rolled down her cheek as she thought about Krishnash’s kind action and achieving her dream.