Grade 5

Informational

Writing Extended Response

Compose Full Texts

Ready for a Nap

Conventions

Evidence/Elaboration

Organization/Purpose

Sentences are generally correct, but there is one comma splice (“It is proved that a bear is a in-between hibernator, it really only takes a long winter nap.”) as well as one fragment (“That bears hibernate to help save energy and survive, they store fat in there bodies to keep warm, and that bears do not sleep all winter long.”).
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There is a pronoun/antecedent issue in paragraph 2, sentence 1 (“a bear hibernates because it helps them save energy”), and the writer has errors with frequently confused words, using “there” instead of “their” throughout the response (e.g., “bears have to store fat in there bodies”). There is also an incorrect use of an article (“a eating binge” should be “an eating binge”).
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The lack of an apostrophe to indicate possession in the phrase “a bear[’]s hibernation” counts as one error even though it occurs several times in the essay; there is a missing comma in an introductory phrase in the conclusion (“If you want to learn more about a bears hibernation[,] you can check out websites…”).
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Other than a typo (“while the are in slumber”) and a capitalization issue in the final sentence, spelling and capitalization are correct.

The writer utilizes adequate evidence from the source materials to support each of the three main points set up in the introduction, but the evidence needs to be more smoothly integrated into the essay for a higher score.

There is evidence of the use of some elaboration, but some of the source material is misstated (“hibernating mammals have patches of special brown fur along their shoulders and back”) and the definition of an “eating binge” (“time or instance of carefree fun”) does not match the context of its use in the source. Large sections of paragraphs 3 and 4 are directly copied in the text, resulting in a low 3 score.

The language use is sometimes too general (“I hope you…learn a lot…”; “Food is super hard to find…”; “I hope you really learned a ton…”), but overall the style is appropriate and consistent throughout the essay.

This response is adequately focused on the controlling idea contained in the introduction, which indicates that the essay will be about a bear’s hibernation.

There is an adequate introduction, which begins with a rhetorical question, although the final sentence of the intro is unnecessary and could be deleted (“I hope you enjoy and learn a lot from my paper.”). The conclusion provides a sense of closure, although the summarization is rather formulaic and the final question seems tacked on and adds little to the essay.

Transitions between paragraphs are adequate but predictable (“The first statement,” “The next statement,” “The last but not least statement,” “Now you know all about…”).

The progression of ideas is adequate with each body paragraph covering each of the three subtopics in a lockstep fashion.

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An annotation is the educator’s explanation of how a portion of the student’s response relates to the rubric and contributes to that trait’s score. For example, the educator might explain how the response meets the expectations of a specific score point. An annotation can also describe aspects of a student response that relate to multiple score points on the rubric to demonstrate nuance when determining a score.

Annotation

One of three traits scored for the ELA performance task full write, this trait measures a student’s ability to demonstrate command of grade-level conventions of standard English: grammar usage (including sentence formation), capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

This trait measures students’ ability to select and integrate details that support, explain, illustrate, or develop ideas. Students should elaborate these details—that is, explain and connect them, guided by the writing purpose and audience needs.
For informative/explanatory and opinion/argumentative writing purposes, these details come from source materials.
For narrative writing, this trait is called Development/Elaboration, and students are expected to integrate and develop grade-appropriate story elements such as descriptive details and dialogue. For these tasks, events and experiences are inspired by source materials.

This trait measures students’ ability to establish and sustain a focus for the writing. This focus should be consistent with the task’s designated purpose and the intended audience. Strong introductions and conclusions (or, for narrative writing, beginnings and endings) and transitions help to create coherence.

Performance tasks measure a student’s ability to demonstrate critical-thinking and problem-solving skills by challenging students to apply their knowledge and skills to complex, real-world problems. In the performance task, students are presented with a collection of questions and activities connected to a single theme or scenario. These activities ask students to demonstrate capacities such as depth of understanding, writing and research skills, and complex analysis, which cannot be adequately assessed with traditional assessment questions. Performance tasks are taken on a computer (but are not computer adaptive) and take students one to two class periods to complete.

Performance Task

The prompt is the text provided to the student that requests their response. It includes some contextual information, but also includes a specific task that students complete in their writing response.

Prompt

For a deeper dive into the content behind this student response, navigate to the Sample Items Website to access the writing prompt or visit the Content Explorer to learn more about this content area.

Prompt & Target

“Purpose” is the context for a piece of writing, or what the writer intends to accomplish. Students write texts with the following purposes:
<ul>
<li>Narrative (grades 3–8): tell a story</li>
<li>Informational (grades 3–5): present facts or data using source material</li>
<li>Explanatory (grades 6–11): explain a topic or concept by analyzing source materials</li>
<li>Opinion (grades 3–5): present and defend a position</li>
<li>Argumentative (grades 6–11): present an argument using research to form and support claims</li>
</ul>
Purposes have subtle differences depending on grade, and each writing purpose has its own scoring rubric.

Purpose

This text was written by a student in response to a Performance Task writing prompt.

Response

A rubric is a set framework for scorers to reference when determining the quality of student writing. Each trait has its own rubric, and every point value is defined in detail with examples of what to expect from student writing at each level.

Rubric

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Sample Term One

Sample Term Two

Traits are different dimensions of a student response that educators evaluate when scoring. For example, an educator will assess grammar and spelling as part of the Conventions trait (maximum of two score points) but not take grammar or spelling into account when assessing the other traits. This approach ensures that scorers evaluate student writing from multiple angles.

Example for Grade 5: Informational – Ready for a Nap - ID: 785

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