Example for Grade 4: Narrative – Ant Colony - ID: 712

for this response.

Ant Colony

  • Purpose: Narrative
  • Grade: 4
  • ID No. 712

Student Response

Scoring & Annotations

One day there were two girls and they were playing outside in the cold wet rain .Thier names were Sabrina and Daphne. Sabrina and Daphne both loved rain but this time they were just sitting in it .  They were staring at some extremely small holes . Little did they know that the holes that they were staring at were small ant holes .So here they were staring at these holes watching ants come out ant wondering what the holes had inside of them.

Suddenly  , the girls felt with horror that they were morphing smaller and smaller and nad growing anteenae that they were turning slowly into ants!They had unknowingly stepped on some ant holes that was not a problem then because they were much much smaller`!They fell through the hole and there was a puddle of saliva on the ground and the girls stared atthemselves and realized that they luckily had not turned into ants but had definitly shrunken oh no how they get home ?

Then a suspicious ant that the girls recognized as a worker ant  came forward noticed that they were not ants and yelled inrtuder! The girls also noticed that the ants were incredibly strong!The ants were completely ready to bite them to protect the colony.In one chamber they ran into a bunch of aphids! Soon the girls found themselves being chased through a series of tunnels !Suddenly the girls came into a nursery chamber and saw a  small leaf full of a certain substance. both girls leaned little to far and fell into it each geting a mouthful . The girls both exchanged an uh oh look then scrambled up the  chamber, The ants were still in pursuit.when those ants realized that they were not enough they realeased some alarm chemicals to other ants to signal danger.Ants surried away here and there and some soldier ants came to help drive out Sabrina and Daphne.

Fortunately the girls kept on climbing up the wall of this one chamber .The ants followed in pursuit .  The girls got out just in time! They starrted a disturbing change .After it though the girls were glad they were back to their normall size.The rain had stopped and their mom was calling them to lunch.They raced inside and agreed to stay away from antholes during rain!