Example for Grade 5: Narrative – Whales - ID: 5487
Whales

Student Response
The whale was so big! It was a blue whale. That’s what my mom said. This has been the first time I have ever seen a whale! Everyone was so excited! But not my little brother. He was screaming and kicking his arms and legs. He said “Shark! Shark!”. My mom was trying to calm him but he just wouldn’t settle down.
When we finally calmed down my little brother, the whale was right beside our boat! It was crazy! He started swimming around our boat. We asked the tour guide if this was normal. She said, “This is crazy! I have never once in my life seen a whale do this.” My mom got out her camera. Then a big bump game from the side of our boat. Her camera dropped in the water. She was so distraught. But Shelly our tour guide said that she had an extra camera we could keep. “Oh, I have millions”, Shelly excalimed. We had to wait. That whale just wouldnt leave us alone. So we waited for hours and hours. Then my Dad thought of an idea. “The snacks in Olivers stroller”, he said. So we searched through Olivers stroller for every peice of food we had. Oliver was not happy about giving his snacks away at first, but then he realized how hot it was in the middle of the ocean. So we threw all three sandwiches we had out in the ocean. The whale ran after them! However, that was not enough. So we gave him corn puffs, pizza, and my balogna sandwich. Then the whale finally left, to our relief. When we got back to land, everyone was as sunburnt as a red tomato! We were all disappointed about our lunch, but it was better than having to sit all day with a whale swarming around us. Shelly was not very pleased and charged our family double. Oliver was already asleep. The next day we went snorkling and saw a whale. Im pretty sure you know how that turned out for us.