Grade 5

Narrative

Writing Extended Response

Compose Full Texts

Whales

Conventions

Development/Elaboration

Organization/Purpose

There are many errors with sentences including, run-ons (e.g., “Even though I was having fun I learned a lots of thing,I will always learn every day” and “Then I saw a shark who was trying to eat the baby whale but the good thing is that the baby whale mom was protecting the baby then the mom whale was fighting with the shark”). Some other sentence errors defy categorization (“When I learned that the whale breathe the blowhole then he hold his breath”).

There are many punctuation errors, including errors with commas missing for compound independent clauses (e.g., “Next I ask my dad if we could get a boat ride and my dad said, &#8216;Yes’&#8221; and “The whales was about 100 feet long and it also look like…”). There is an incorrect use of a question mark for an indirect question (“Then I ask my oldest brother if the whales are warm blooded or cold blooded?”). There are commas missing after introductory elements (e.g., “Even though I was having fun I learned…”). There is an error with a missing apostrophe for possession (“whales skin”).

As used, “King of the Sea” should not be capitalized.

There are many errors with grammar usage, including errors with subject pronouns (“me and my family”) and errors with inconsistent/shifting verb tenses throughout the story (e.g., “We went…they want to celebrate”; “I ask my dad…my dad said…”). There are also errors with subject/verb agreement (“The whales was”; “the whale breathe”).

There are no errors with spelling.

Some ideas lack explanation and are therefore confusing (“…the whale left homes with her kid”). Information about the whale mom protecting the baby by fighting a shark is loosely integrated.

Information from sources is weakly used to develop the story. For example, information about sharks eating whale babies is not text-based, and some other information is equally confusing as presented (e.g., “we saw a whales called King of the Sea”). Information about whale size and weight as well as information about breathing and being cold- or warm-blooded are dumped into the response, but those details serve no narrative purpose.

There is no dialogue, and the brief, unconnected, and general descriptive details contribute to a limited “telling” of an experience with a whale.

No sensory details or figurative language was used. General and vague language weakens the response.

Although the style is not inappropriate, the rambling string of events is more confusing than engaging.

There is an attempt to establish a conflict between a shark and a baby whale, but it is limited. Otherwise, the story recounts an experience on a boat ride.

The narrator, a dad, and an oldest brother are minimally established. None of these characters is developed, and there is a single piece of indirect dialogue (“Yes”). The setting (“beach in New Jersey”; “boat”) is vague.

The word “Then” is repeated so frequently that it distracts readers rather than providing cohesion. Other transitions (“Next”; “And then&#8221;; “When”) provide superficial connections.

The “story” is more of a string of isolated facts followed by a shark/whale “fight” and lacks the cohesion of a narrative.

The beginning provides a vague attempt to establish an event (birthday boating trip). The attempt to add a moral at the end provides a limited ending (“I will always learn”).

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An annotation is the educator’s explanation of how a portion of the student’s response relates to the rubric and contributes to that trait’s score. For example, the educator might explain how the response meets the expectations of a specific score point. An annotation can also describe aspects of a student response that relate to multiple score points on the rubric to demonstrate nuance when determining a score.

Annotation

One of three traits scored for the ELA performance task full write, this trait measures a student’s ability to demonstrate command of grade-level conventions of standard English: grammar usage (including sentence formation), capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

This trait measures students’ ability to select and integrate details that support, explain, illustrate, or develop ideas. Students should elaborate these details—that is, explain and connect them, guided by the writing purpose and audience needs.
For informative/explanatory and opinion/argumentative writing purposes, these details come from source materials.
For narrative writing, this trait is called Development/Elaboration, and students are expected to integrate and develop grade-appropriate story elements such as descriptive details and dialogue. For these tasks, events and experiences are inspired by source materials.

Evidence/Elaboration

This trait measures students’ ability to establish and sustain a focus for the writing. This focus should be consistent with the task’s designated purpose and the intended audience. Strong introductions and conclusions (or, for narrative writing, beginnings and endings) and transitions help to create coherence.

Performance tasks measure a student’s ability to demonstrate critical-thinking and problem-solving skills by challenging students to apply their knowledge and skills to complex, real-world problems. In the performance task, students are presented with a collection of questions and activities connected to a single theme or scenario. These activities ask students to demonstrate capacities such as depth of understanding, writing and research skills, and complex analysis, which cannot be adequately assessed with traditional assessment questions. Performance tasks are taken on a computer (but are not computer adaptive) and take students one to two class periods to complete.

Performance Task

The prompt is the text provided to the student that requests their response. It includes some contextual information, but also includes a specific task that students complete in their writing response.

Prompt

For a deeper dive into the content behind this student response, navigate to the Sample Items Website to access the writing prompt or visit the Content Explorer to learn more about this content area.

Prompt & Target

“Purpose” is the context for a piece of writing, or what the writer intends to accomplish. Students write texts with the following purposes:
<ul>
<li>Narrative (grades 3–8): tell a story</li>
<li>Informational (grades 3–5): present facts or data using source material</li>
<li>Explanatory (grades 6–11): explain a topic or concept by analyzing source materials</li>
<li>Opinion (grades 3–5): present and defend a position</li>
<li>Argumentative (grades 6–11): present an argument using research to form and support claims</li>
</ul>
Purposes have subtle differences depending on grade, and each writing purpose has its own scoring rubric.

Purpose

This text was written by a student in response to a Performance Task writing prompt.

Response

A rubric is a set framework for scorers to reference when determining the quality of student writing. Each trait has its own rubric, and every point value is defined in detail with examples of what to expect from student writing at each level.

Rubric

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Sample Term One

Sample Term Two

Traits are different dimensions of a student response that educators evaluate when scoring. For example, an educator will assess grammar and spelling as part of the Conventions trait (maximum of two score points) but not take grammar or spelling into account when assessing the other traits. This approach ensures that scorers evaluate student writing from multiple angles.

Example for Grade 5: Narrative – Whales - ID: 5480

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