Grade 8

Narrative

Writing Extended Response

Compose Full Texts

Geocaching

Conventions

Development/Elaboration

Organization/Purpose

There is a run-on (“Who knows, it could become your hobby too”); however, its construction seems purposeful.

There are varied and frequent errors with commas throughout the response. There are many missing commas to separate compound independent clauses (e.g., “The sun was starting to set and I was getting a little bummed”), and missing commas after introductory elements (e.g., “But at that moment I got an alert”). Although the errors with commas are frequent, they represent just one kind of punctuation mark. And, there should be a question mark after “Who knows.”

There are no errors with capital letters.

There are a variety of grammar usage errors, including an incorrect article (“a urban”), many confusing verb tense shifts (e.g., “So I frantically just put away my GPS and head straight into the field”), and verb form errors (“It was the most spectacular firework show I had ever saw…”). There is an error with pronoun case (“…so us who had found the cache…,” although the writer might have intended “those of us”) and errors with frequently confused words (e.g., &#8220;of/off&#8221; and &#8220;to/too&#8221;). “Firework show” should be &#8220;fireworks show.&#8221; There is also some unnecessary use of passive voice, although the ineffective voice is more of a style problem than a usage error.

There are no errors with misspelled words.

Overall, the details are adequately developed (e.g., the cache is a “special Fourth of July themed trinket” and the location of the cache is described: “Tall grass stood still just as if it couldn&#8217;t be touched”). More information about the clues used to find the cache would have helped build suspense.

Details such as the cache usually being an “interesting trinket,” using GPS, “urban cache,” and “logbook” all accurately reflect relevant information from the sources.

The narration is used to reveal character traits (e.g., “Rule number two was, well whatever who cares about rules anyway? I didn&#8217;t really listen at all to rules”). The point of view is consistently first person, but there is no dialogue. Having the event set on the 4th of July adds a festive tone.

There are some strong word choices (e.g., “ecstatic,” “bolted,” and “stunning”) but also some awkward phrasing (“I remember very fondly of my first&#8230;” and “We went through all through town&#8230;”) and some general language as well (“many hobbies and other things”).

While the beginning of the response is mostly informative, the second paragraph begins to reflect an engaging style, with comments such as “Rule number two was, well whatever who cares about rules anyway?” and “I was the fourth person to find the cache. Ironic, I think not.” The short rhetorical questions “The best part?” and “Who knows?” also engage the reader. Passive voice, especially in paragraphs 3 and 4, does somewhat detract from the sense of excitement and suspense (e.g., “I was told”), but overall, this is a minor flaw.

There is a clear and straightforward plot, describing a narrator’s geocache experience. There are very minor inconsistencies (as described, the cache is supposed to be “in town”—an urban cache—yet its location is in a field, not typically a characteristic of a town; presumably, the location is in a park rather than a field). Other details, such as the fact that the winners had to wait in the park for an hour, seem somewhat extraneous but do not really interfere with the unity of the response.

The use of narrative elements is mixed. There is a single character—the narrator—although the narrator is presumably with others (“our Adventure Club we”). There is a consistent first-person point of view. The setting is presented but is somewhat general (a field, with “Tall grass”). The narrator recounts the experience in retrospect.

Most of the transitions are temporal (“I remember that”; “So then at noon”; “The sun was starting to set”; “It was still sunset”; “About an hour later”) and show adequate variety.

The sequence of events is clear and effective for the task. The narrator frames the story with information about the Adventure Club, but then recounts (in chronological order) their “first and favorite” geocaching experience.

The opening adequately sets up the situation (Adventure Club activity), although it doesn’t really describe what geocaching is (“things”), only that a “cache” usually has a “trinket” in it. The conclusion is more effective, with some nice reflection and an appeal to the audience (“You can join us….Who knows, it could become your hobby too”).

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An annotation is the educator’s explanation of how a portion of the student’s response relates to the rubric and contributes to that trait’s score. For example, the educator might explain how the response meets the expectations of a specific score point. An annotation can also describe aspects of a student response that relate to multiple score points on the rubric to demonstrate nuance when determining a score.

Annotation

One of three traits scored for the ELA performance task full write, this trait measures a student’s ability to demonstrate command of grade-level conventions of standard English: grammar usage (including sentence formation), capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

This trait measures students’ ability to select and integrate details that support, explain, illustrate, or develop ideas. Students should elaborate these details—that is, explain and connect them, guided by the writing purpose and audience needs.
For informative/explanatory and opinion/argumentative writing purposes, these details come from source materials.
For narrative writing, this trait is called Development/Elaboration, and students are expected to integrate and develop grade-appropriate story elements such as descriptive details and dialogue. For these tasks, events and experiences are inspired by source materials.

Evidence/Elaboration

This trait measures students’ ability to establish and sustain a focus for the writing. This focus should be consistent with the task’s designated purpose and the intended audience. Strong introductions and conclusions (or, for narrative writing, beginnings and endings) and transitions help to create coherence.

Performance tasks measure a student’s ability to demonstrate critical-thinking and problem-solving skills by challenging students to apply their knowledge and skills to complex, real-world problems. In the performance task, students are presented with a collection of questions and activities connected to a single theme or scenario. These activities ask students to demonstrate capacities such as depth of understanding, writing and research skills, and complex analysis, which cannot be adequately assessed with traditional assessment questions. Performance tasks are taken on a computer (but are not computer adaptive) and take students one to two class periods to complete.

Performance Task

The prompt is the text provided to the student that requests their response. It includes some contextual information, but also includes a specific task that students complete in their writing response.

Prompt

For a deeper dive into the content behind this student response, navigate to the Sample Items Website to access the writing prompt or visit the Content Explorer to learn more about this content area.

Prompt & Target

“Purpose” is the context for a piece of writing, or what the writer intends to accomplish. Students write texts with the following purposes:
<ul>
<li>Narrative (grades 3–8): tell a story</li>
<li>Informational (grades 3–5): present facts or data using source material</li>
<li>Explanatory (grades 6–11): explain a topic or concept by analyzing source materials</li>
<li>Opinion (grades 3–5): present and defend a position</li>
<li>Argumentative (grades 6–11): present an argument using research to form and support claims</li>
</ul>
Purposes have subtle differences depending on grade, and each writing purpose has its own scoring rubric.

Purpose

This text was written by a student in response to a Performance Task writing prompt.

Response

A rubric is a set framework for scorers to reference when determining the quality of student writing. Each trait has its own rubric, and every point value is defined in detail with examples of what to expect from student writing at each level.

Rubric

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Sample Term One

Sample Term Two

Traits are different dimensions of a student response that educators evaluate when scoring. For example, an educator will assess grammar and spelling as part of the Conventions trait (maximum of two score points) but not take grammar or spelling into account when assessing the other traits. This approach ensures that scorers evaluate student writing from multiple angles.

Example for Grade 8: Narrative – Geocaching - ID: 5291

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