Example for Grade 6: Narrative – Robots - ID: 4137

for this response.


  • Purpose: Narrative
  • Grade: 6
  • ID No. 4137

Student Response

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there was once a girl named Brianna, who was 12 years old, 13 in a week. she was a very curious girl, and if she was not reading she would be inventing something. one day while inventing, something went terribly wrong.she was working on her new invention,a robot. she just finished it and was so excited, “now i gonna win for sure” she thought.

“Brianna” her mom called “coming mom!” was her reply
as she went downstairs she heard a bang and then crash. “Brianna?!”
Brianna went to her mom.

“Brianna, why don’t you go outside and play, not stay cooped up in your room all day?”

“OK mom, first of all I’m almost 13 and i don’t play anymore OK? secondly i have a big contest that i have to win and my project is done so can i go now?”

“fine but promise me that after your project you will get some air?”

“fine” said Brianna with her fingers crossed behind her back. she retreated upstairs to her room.her brother was singing very loudly to his stuffed animals.

“shut up Jack! I’m working!” “up above the world so high…” “Jack i mean it” “like a diamond in the sky..”
“UGH” Brianna marched into her room and saw her robot on the bed not on the bench where she left it. she went into her brothers room.
“Jack did you move my robot?” “what you are!


rianna heard rustling in her room. back into her room she went , and the robot was now on the floor. “huh this is strange” she said to herself. she turned around and again rustling. once again Brianna turned around and the robot was next to her and staring up at her.


“OOOOOGGGGGGGGGG!” went the robot. “oh crud, the robots alive”
she said aloud “oh crud the robots alive” the robot said. “ABC,123,ABC,123.”

“ABC,123,ABC,123.” “since when were you a parrot?” asked Brianna. ” since when were you a parrot?” asked the robot. “OK I’m gonna go outside” “out… side…” said the robot. “yes outside wanna come?” “OK”

so they both went outside and the robot was surprisingly like a dog. but he got too close to the pool and fell in. Brianna had a titanic moment before the robot sank to the bottom. all was lost for Brianna. she went upstairs to the bathroom,when she came out wet tire tracks were all over her room and there in the corner was the robot. she couldn’t be happier. they went to the contest and she won first place. when they got home Brianna took a nap. when she woke up the robot was gone so she assumed it was a dream, but there were pictures and ribbons with them both on so she knew it wasn’t a dream. but one day she walked by a dump and there was the little robot, crushed with tire marks all over him and parts were missing from him. “it was for the best” Brianna said to herself right before
her moms car came around the corner…