Grade 6

Narrative

Writing Extended Response

Compose Full Texts

Robots

Conventions

Development/Elaboration

Organization/Purpose

There is a single run-on sentence (&#8220;she went upstairs to the bathroom,when she came out wet tire tracks were all over her room and there in the corner was the robot&#8221;). Note: sentence formation errors that are part of dialogue could be considered purposeful (&#8220;oh crud, the robots alive&#8221; she said aloud &#8220;oh crud the robots alive&#8221; the robot said).

Errors with punctuation are frequent and severe, appearing throughout the response and causing reader confusion at times. In addition to occasionally failing to change paragraphs between speakers, the dialogue consistently lacks proper punctuation especially separating dialogue and speaker (e.g., &#8220;&#8216;now I gonna win for sure&#8217; she thought&#8221;; and &#8220;&#8216;oh crud, the robots alive&#8217; she said aloud &#8216;oh crud the robots alive&#8217; the robot said&#8221;). In addition to errors with dialogue, there are several other kinds of punctuation errors including errors with apostrophes showing possession (&#8220;brothers room,&#8221; &#8220;moms car&#8221;) and contracted forms (&#8220;…the robots alive…&#8221;). There are several errors with commas missing before conjunctions in compound sentence structures. For example, there are three commas missing in the 8th paragraph: &#8220;OK mom, first of all I&#8217;m almost 13 and i don&#8217;t play anymore OK? secondly i have a big contest that i have to win and my project is done so can i go now?&#8221; There are also commas missing separating tag, direct address, or other introductory elements (&#8220;OK I’m gonna go outside&#8221;; &#8220;yes outside wanna come&#8221;; &#8220;Jack did you move my robot?&#8221;).

There are many missing capital letters, including the repeated failure to capitalize the first word of a new sentence. In addition, there is a consistent failure to capitalize the pronoun I. Note that capitalizations presumably used for emphasis (e.g., “OOOOOGGGGGGGGG!”) are unnecessary but aren’t noted as errors.

There are some errors with verb tenses, but it isn’t always clear if they are intentional when they occur in dialogue (&#8220;now i gonna win for sure&#8221;; &#8220;[T]here in the corner was the robot. she couldn&#8217;t be happier.&#8221;). The word “went” is used instead of “said” (“OOOOOGGGGGGGG!” went the robot).

The response is free from spelling errors.

The response introduces the narrator, Brianna (&#8220;she was a very curious girl, and if she was not reading she would be inventing something&#8221;), the concerned mother (&#8220;Brianna, why don’t you go outside and play, not stay cooped up in your room all day?&#8221;), and the exasperating brother, Jack. Events unfold adequately as the audience understands that “something went terribly wrong” as well as Brianna’s confusion as she discovers the unexplained movement of the robot in her room, and, ultimately, the discovery that the robot is alive.

There are some general references to source materials (e.g., the dog-like behavior).

Dialogue, the primary elaborative technique, is used to reveal the character’s thoughts, attitudes, and feelings. For example, dialogue with Brianna and her mother adequately shows their relationship: mom is concerned that Brianna, the bookish inventor, hasn’t been outside to play. Brianna’s response shows her attitude (&#8220;I don’t play anymore, ok?&#8221;; She then crosses her fingers behind her back after “promising” to go outside and play). The exchange with her brother, Jack, shows “the annoying brother” and effectively allows the plot to advance.

The response includes some sensory/figurative language (&#8220;Brianna had a titanic moment&#8221;) and concrete language (&#8220;parrot,&#8221; &#8220;cooped up&#8221;). There is some concrete description (e.g., &#8220;the little robot, crushed with tire marks all over him and parts were missing&#8221;; and &#8220;fingers crossed behind her back&#8221;).

The style is lively and supports the narrative purpose. As one example, the integration of brother Jack singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” as the narrator is talking to him nicely shows the sibling relationship.

The plot is clear, and for the most part, the story has a sense of completeness.

The response establishes the narrator’s character, immediately giving the reader a sense of her personality (&#8220;if she was not reading she would be inventing something&#8221;) and setting up the events by building suspense (&#8220;something went terribly wrong&#8221;).

The story includes a variety of transition strategies including traditional chronological transition words/phrases (e.g., &#8220;One day&#8221;; &#8220;When she woke up&#8221;; &#8220;But one day&#8221;). Dialogue with other characters (mom and brother, Jack) also functions as an effective transitional strategy in many places (&#8220;Jack did you move my robot?&#8221;; and &#8220;OK I&#8217;m gonna go outside&#8221;).

Overall, the sequence of events proceeds logically. We are introduced to the character, and through dialogue with her mother, we know why she is inventing her robot (&#8220;I have a big contest…&#8221;). After more character development and plot suspense (&#8220;Brianna heard rustling in her room&#8221;), the robot comes alive (&#8220;oh crud, the robots alive&#8221;). Within the response, problems are presented and overcome (e.g., falling into the pool; Brianna’s struggle to determine if the robot is real; and the robot’s disappearance). There are some minor gaps in the sequence of events (how did the robot get from the pool to her bedroom, and how did it get to the dump?). However, these gaps do not detract from the overall adequate sequencing of the response.

The opening of the story introduces the narrator adequately (&#8220;there was once a girl named Brianna, who was 12 years old, 13 in a week. She was a curious girl…&#8221;). The closure is a bit rushed (&#8220;but one day she walked by a dump and there was the little robot, crushed.…&#8221;).

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An annotation is the educator’s explanation of how a portion of the student’s response relates to the rubric and contributes to that trait’s score. For example, the educator might explain how the response meets the expectations of a specific score point. An annotation can also describe aspects of a student response that relate to multiple score points on the rubric to demonstrate nuance when determining a score.

Annotation

One of three traits scored for the ELA performance task full write, this trait measures a student’s ability to demonstrate command of grade-level conventions of standard English: grammar usage (including sentence formation), capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

This trait measures students’ ability to select and integrate details that support, explain, illustrate, or develop ideas. Students should elaborate these details—that is, explain and connect them, guided by the writing purpose and audience needs.
For informative/explanatory and opinion/argumentative writing purposes, these details come from source materials.
For narrative writing, this trait is called Development/Elaboration, and students are expected to integrate and develop grade-appropriate story elements such as descriptive details and dialogue. For these tasks, events and experiences are inspired by source materials.

Evidence/Elaboration

This trait measures students’ ability to establish and sustain a focus for the writing. This focus should be consistent with the task’s designated purpose and the intended audience. Strong introductions and conclusions (or, for narrative writing, beginnings and endings) and transitions help to create coherence.

Performance tasks measure a student’s ability to demonstrate critical-thinking and problem-solving skills by challenging students to apply their knowledge and skills to complex, real-world problems. In the performance task, students are presented with a collection of questions and activities connected to a single theme or scenario. These activities ask students to demonstrate capacities such as depth of understanding, writing and research skills, and complex analysis, which cannot be adequately assessed with traditional assessment questions. Performance tasks are taken on a computer (but are not computer adaptive) and take students one to two class periods to complete.

Performance Task

The prompt is the text provided to the student that requests their response. It includes some contextual information, but also includes a specific task that students complete in their writing response.

Prompt

For a deeper dive into the content behind this student response, navigate to the Sample Items Website to access the writing prompt or visit the Content Explorer to learn more about this content area.

Prompt & Target

“Purpose” is the context for a piece of writing, or what the writer intends to accomplish. Students write texts with the following purposes:
<ul>
<li>Narrative (grades 3–8): tell a story</li>
<li>Informational (grades 3–5): present facts or data using source material</li>
<li>Explanatory (grades 6–11): explain a topic or concept by analyzing source materials</li>
<li>Opinion (grades 3–5): present and defend a position</li>
<li>Argumentative (grades 6–11): present an argument using research to form and support claims</li>
</ul>
Purposes have subtle differences depending on grade, and each writing purpose has its own scoring rubric.

Purpose

This text was written by a student in response to a Performance Task writing prompt.

Response

A rubric is a set framework for scorers to reference when determining the quality of student writing. Each trait has its own rubric, and every point value is defined in detail with examples of what to expect from student writing at each level.

Rubric

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Sample Term One

Sample Term Two

Traits are different dimensions of a student response that educators evaluate when scoring. For example, an educator will assess grammar and spelling as part of the Conventions trait (maximum of two score points) but not take grammar or spelling into account when assessing the other traits. This approach ensures that scorers evaluate student writing from multiple angles.

Example for Grade 6: Narrative – Robots - ID: 4137

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