Grade 6

Narrative

Writing Extended Response

Compose Full Texts

Robots

Conventions

Development/Elaboration

Organization/Purpose

There are no errors with sentence structure.

There are some errors with punctuation, including commas missing before conjunctions in compound sentences (&#8220;…it had to go into the volcano though so it started climbing&#8221;) and commas missing after introductory elements (&#8220;When the scientist put the last part in the robot it was ready to work&#8221;; &#8220;When it reached the top he started slowly going to collect the samples&#8221;; &#8220;While climbing the volcano he wondered why…&#8221;).

There is a single incident of a needless capital letter for the common noun volcano.

There are several grammar usage errors. There is a frequently confused error with pronoun case (&#8220;…wondered why they looked different than him.&#8221; The pronoun should be “he” &#8211; &#8220;…why they looked different than he [did].&#8221;) Given how often this error is observed in the “real world,” this would not be considered a serious error at this grade level. However, the new-to-grade emphasis on maintaining consistent and appropriate verb tense is limited in this response (e.g., &#8220;Now the robot is collecting information about the gases. It was sending the information back to the lab so it can be studied&#8221;).

There are relatively few errors in spelling (&#8220;Valcono,&#8221; &#8220;alot,&#8221; &#8220;informaton&#8221;).

Some details are offered (the robot’s job to collect samples of volcanic gases), but the narrative-related elaboration weakly develops the overall experience.

The ideas of the robot working in a lab setting, exploring a volcano, and having eight legs all show connections to the source materials.

The use of narrative techniques is cursory. The shift from pure exposition about the mechanical robot to the reflections of a self-aware robot begins to develop a plot (the robot overhears a scientist talking, and the robot wonders why it has eight legs), but these details are not sufficiently integrated to advance or illustrate the narrative purpose.

Much of the language is too general (&#8220;climbing slowly,&#8221; &#8220;give information&#8221;), and although the language does not interfere with the purpose, there is no evidence of sensory or figurative language to illustrate the experience.

For the vast majority of the response, the style is not reflective of a narrative; rather, it is more typical of an expository response (events are told rather than shown). More than halfway through the story, the switch from “it” to “he” signals more of a narrative style, but that shift is not successful enough to warrant a higher score.

Despite its length, the response has an inconsistent plot that does not extend beyond that of the robot climbing the tallest volcano.

The response unevenly or minimally establishes narrative elements: the setting and the character of the robot are minimally established.

There are a few transitions used (&#8220;when,&#8221; &#8220;while,&#8221; &#8220;now&#8221;), but overall the narrative is somewhat choppy and lacks cohesion (&#8220;It&#8230;,&#8221;&#8221;It&#8230;,&#8221; &#8220;It&#8230;&#8221;). The narrative shift from “it” to “he,” which occurs abruptly in paragraphs 4 and 5, does provide some sense that the robot is a character, but this transition is abrupt.

There is an uneven sequence of events. For example, there is a gap in the sequence between the time the robot successfully mounts the volcano and returns to the lab, causing some brief confusion.

The beginning of the response seems more like an informational report rather than a narrative. The end is brief (&#8220;He still thought his job was the coolest&#8221;) and, because the robot is never really introduced as a character, that ending provides only a weak sense of closure.

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An annotation is the educator’s explanation of how a portion of the student’s response relates to the rubric and contributes to that trait’s score. For example, the educator might explain how the response meets the expectations of a specific score point. An annotation can also describe aspects of a student response that relate to multiple score points on the rubric to demonstrate nuance when determining a score.

Annotation

One of three traits scored for the ELA performance task full write, this trait measures a student’s ability to demonstrate command of grade-level conventions of standard English: grammar usage (including sentence formation), capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

This trait measures students’ ability to select and integrate details that support, explain, illustrate, or develop ideas. Students should elaborate these details—that is, explain and connect them, guided by the writing purpose and audience needs.
For informative/explanatory and opinion/argumentative writing purposes, these details come from source materials.
For narrative writing, this trait is called Development/Elaboration, and students are expected to integrate and develop grade-appropriate story elements such as descriptive details and dialogue. For these tasks, events and experiences are inspired by source materials.

Evidence/Elaboration

This trait measures students’ ability to establish and sustain a focus for the writing. This focus should be consistent with the task’s designated purpose and the intended audience. Strong introductions and conclusions (or, for narrative writing, beginnings and endings) and transitions help to create coherence.

Performance tasks measure a student’s ability to demonstrate critical-thinking and problem-solving skills by challenging students to apply their knowledge and skills to complex, real-world problems. In the performance task, students are presented with a collection of questions and activities connected to a single theme or scenario. These activities ask students to demonstrate capacities such as depth of understanding, writing and research skills, and complex analysis, which cannot be adequately assessed with traditional assessment questions. Performance tasks are taken on a computer (but are not computer adaptive) and take students one to two class periods to complete.

Performance Task

The prompt is the text provided to the student that requests their response. It includes some contextual information, but also includes a specific task that students complete in their writing response.

Prompt

For a deeper dive into the content behind this student response, navigate to the Sample Items Website to access the writing prompt or visit the Content Explorer to learn more about this content area.

Prompt & Target

“Purpose” is the context for a piece of writing, or what the writer intends to accomplish. Students write texts with the following purposes:
<ul>
<li>Narrative (grades 3–8): tell a story</li>
<li>Informational (grades 3–5): present facts or data using source material</li>
<li>Explanatory (grades 6–11): explain a topic or concept by analyzing source materials</li>
<li>Opinion (grades 3–5): present and defend a position</li>
<li>Argumentative (grades 6–11): present an argument using research to form and support claims</li>
</ul>
Purposes have subtle differences depending on grade, and each writing purpose has its own scoring rubric.

Purpose

This text was written by a student in response to a Performance Task writing prompt.

Response

A rubric is a set framework for scorers to reference when determining the quality of student writing. Each trait has its own rubric, and every point value is defined in detail with examples of what to expect from student writing at each level.

Rubric

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Sample Term One

Sample Term Two

Traits are different dimensions of a student response that educators evaluate when scoring. For example, an educator will assess grammar and spelling as part of the Conventions trait (maximum of two score points) but not take grammar or spelling into account when assessing the other traits. This approach ensures that scorers evaluate student writing from multiple angles.

Example for Grade 6: Narrative – Robots - ID: 4127

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