Example for Grade 7: Narrative – Mount Everest - ID: 3342

for this response.

Mount Everest

  • Purpose: Narrative
  • Grade: 7
  • ID No. 3342

Student Response

Scoring & Annotations

The Hillary step made me very nervous. It is a 60 degree slope half rock half snow that demands as much courage and rock climbing skill as it does strength stamina. I am not a proficient rock climber in the best conditions, and now I was at 29,000 feet in a down suit holding an ice axe and jumar wearing an oxygen mask and goggles that obscured my vision. The rope was so tight against the rock I could barely slide my jumar and in places there were four or five ropes and i didn’t know which to use. I could barely see my feet much less know wherw to put them and with every third or fourth step my crampons slid backwards down the rock leaving me hanging by my arms.each time i looked up i saw danuru getting farther and farther ahead turning occasionally to motion to me with his arm.