Grade 8

Explanatory

Writing Extended Response

Compose Full Texts

Memory Training

Conventions

Evidence/Elaboration

Organization/Purpose

There are sentence structure errors: back-to-back run-on sentences in paragraph 3 and a lack of parallel structure at the end of paragraph 1. Although there are many stylistically awkward sentences, these are not counted as errors, per se.

Passive voice, a stylistic problem, can slow down comprehension in places (e.g., “it is said that…”).

There are many errors with punctuation including missing commas in compound sentences (“I can see how this would be true and i’ve actually used this….” and “Theirs are just more exercised and they know how….”) and missing commas following introductory elements (“…if you use shortcuts and replace names with objects you can remember…”). There are errors with the placement of commas outside the quotation marks (“’Stan Lee’, the creator of Marvel” and “’working memory’,” ).

There are no spelling errors, although some words are incorrectly used (“is” for &#8220;in&#8221;).

Capitalization errors include with the proper noun &#8220;I&#8221; (“i’ve”).

Relative to the amount of available information, this response references few details; however, those that are included are attributed to specific sources. The details used are briefly listed with insufficient explanation and little or no elaboration. The exception is in paragraph 3, in which the writer makes a personal connection, explaining how to remember names by mentally replacing them with objects (despite the fact that Stan Lee is not an object).

Overall, the language is vague (“lots of things”), confusing (“memory- complex”), repetitive (“make your memory better and remember things longer”), and/or imprecise (“…more shaped to how you’ve been using it,” “interacting with”).

The style does not enhance the writing (e.g., use of passive voice—“it is said that”—and repetition of phrases such as “they talked about,” and “it talks a little about”).

The introduction for this response has an adequate controlling idea connecting the need to develop memory with the fact that it will be useful for “our entire lives.” The progression of ideas is announced in the introduction. The conclusion very generally summarizes the response, reiterating that memory is “important.”

The response seems to progress following the roadmap presented in the introduction, but a close examination reveals lapses. Paragraph 4 begins by describing how Dellis and Hu (source #2) exercise their brains, which seemed to be the focus of paragraph 2. Paragraph 4 then describes how Peregovoy used “tricks” to “shape up” her memory, yet tricks were also the focus of paragraph 3.

There are few transitions to clarify relationships in paragraphs 2 and 4, although transitions in paragraph 3 are more appropriate (“I can see,” “Another trick,” “For example”).

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An annotation is the educator’s explanation of how a portion of the student’s response relates to the rubric and contributes to that trait’s score. For example, the educator might explain how the response meets the expectations of a specific score point. An annotation can also describe aspects of a student response that relate to multiple score points on the rubric to demonstrate nuance when determining a score.

Annotation

One of three traits scored for the ELA performance task full write, this trait measures a student’s ability to demonstrate command of grade-level conventions of standard English: grammar usage (including sentence formation), capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

This trait measures students’ ability to select and integrate details that support, explain, illustrate, or develop ideas. Students should elaborate these details—that is, explain and connect them, guided by the writing purpose and audience needs.
For informative/explanatory and opinion/argumentative writing purposes, these details come from source materials.
For narrative writing, this trait is called Development/Elaboration, and students are expected to integrate and develop grade-appropriate story elements such as descriptive details and dialogue. For these tasks, events and experiences are inspired by source materials.

This trait measures students’ ability to establish and sustain a focus for the writing. This focus should be consistent with the task’s designated purpose and the intended audience. Strong introductions and conclusions (or, for narrative writing, beginnings and endings) and transitions help to create coherence.

Performance tasks measure a student’s ability to demonstrate critical-thinking and problem-solving skills by challenging students to apply their knowledge and skills to complex, real-world problems. In the performance task, students are presented with a collection of questions and activities connected to a single theme or scenario. These activities ask students to demonstrate capacities such as depth of understanding, writing and research skills, and complex analysis, which cannot be adequately assessed with traditional assessment questions. Performance tasks are taken on a computer (but are not computer adaptive) and take students one to two class periods to complete.

Performance Task

The prompt is the text provided to the student that requests their response. It includes some contextual information, but also includes a specific task that students complete in their writing response.

Prompt

For a deeper dive into the content behind this student response, navigate to the Sample Items Website to access the writing prompt or visit the Content Explorer to learn more about this content area.

Prompt & Target

“Purpose” is the context for a piece of writing, or what the writer intends to accomplish. Students write texts with the following purposes:
<ul>
<li>Narrative (grades 3–8): tell a story</li>
<li>Informational (grades 3–5): present facts or data using source material</li>
<li>Explanatory (grades 6–11): explain a topic or concept by analyzing source materials</li>
<li>Opinion (grades 3–5): present and defend a position</li>
<li>Argumentative (grades 6–11): present an argument using research to form and support claims</li>
</ul>
Purposes have subtle differences depending on grade, and each writing purpose has its own scoring rubric.

Purpose

This text was written by a student in response to a Performance Task writing prompt.

Response

A rubric is a set framework for scorers to reference when determining the quality of student writing. Each trait has its own rubric, and every point value is defined in detail with examples of what to expect from student writing at each level.

Rubric

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Sample Term One

Sample Term Two

Traits are different dimensions of a student response that educators evaluate when scoring. For example, an educator will assess grammar and spelling as part of the Conventions trait (maximum of two score points) but not take grammar or spelling into account when assessing the other traits. This approach ensures that scorers evaluate student writing from multiple angles.

Example for Grade 8: Explanatory – Memory Training - ID: 1017

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